I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
