I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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