Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
