im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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