VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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