How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
please come you make the beer taste better
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
