she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
