i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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