is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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