Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
