and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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