You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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