Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
