Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
