Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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