I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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