you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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