Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
