And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
