I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
