Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize