Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
we should paint friendship bongs
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