Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
