At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
