make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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