I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
