WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
