Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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