do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
