God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
