Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
