arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize