oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hippo gnu deer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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