Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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