Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think your dad took our porno
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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