I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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