Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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