nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
