Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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