I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
