apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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