she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
