are you still at the devil's house?
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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