i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
