I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
