So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
