i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
