Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
