and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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