One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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