SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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