just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
