I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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