i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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