i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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