I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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