I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
