What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
whose ass print is on the piano?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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