AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
