i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
